I never thought of friendships as having levels. I have friends, two best friends (based on length of friendship and history) and acquaintances.
When searching online, there are only differences between “friends” and “best friends”. Based on what I read, I disagree with those. It discusses honesty, having your back, supporting you among other things, it also says if your best friends you talk every day. While I consider my husband one of my two best friends, and I do talk to him every day, my other best friend I do not talk to every day but I have known her for more than 20 years and I know that it will always be an easy conversation filled with love and support.
If you are my friend, I will do what I can when I can to support you and be there for you when you need me. To me, friendship is being honest, caring, helping and perhaps even doing things that make you happy even though there may be physical and mental consequences for me after because of my Multiple Sclerosis.
There is no difference in the type of friend I am going to be to you, I will be your friend, the only way I know how. There will not be any difference between a friend of a year and a friend of 5 years, there will be no difference. You will not get a regular friend one day and 6 months later a good friend and perhaps two years later a great friend.
I am not religious but there is one thing I follow, and they learn it in girl scouts too; treat people how you want to be treated. It’s simple, if you want your friends to be there for you, you start by being there for them. I am here for my friends, I will support and assist you whenever I can. It could be as simple as taking your kid to school for you because you have scheduling issues or being in your wedding.
No relationship can last if one person is constantly giving and not getting anything back. I do not mean material items, I don’t mean same level of helping either. If you need me to grab your kids from school because you are having a bad day that doesn’t mean you have to do the same thing for me. It could mean that when I want to talk or get an opinion you are there for me, being a friend.
It’s odd, I was told I was a “great friend” by a couple of people recently because I was in my dear friend’s wedding even though there were consequences for me after. Yes, I had to drive, yes, I had to talk to a lot of people, yes, I stood in the heat, yes she is my friend. That’s what friends do. I made adjustments to how much time I spent with people, I skipped the events the day before so I could be there for her. You know what, she appreciated it and she’s only going to have one wedding. Someone didn’t go to my wedding for a reason less than it having fairly significant impact on their person, when I look at my wedding photos I remember THAT, and they regretted it later.
So while my brain is tired, my body aches even two days later, I cleared my week following the wedding to properly rest to regain the limited mobility and brain power I had before. That does not make me a great friend, that makes me the kind of friend I think others should be. It didn’t even occur to me to not be there for her, it was more of trying to determine how much I could be there for her.
So here’s your heads up, if you are friends with me, you are going to get the whole me. There’s no difference in time, if I count you among the few friends I have I will be there for you whenever possible and however I can be. I hope you will be there for me too.
Do you think there are differences? Should there be?