Checking In

I realized a couple of days ago that I am in kind of a slump emotionally. This year has been a whirlwind of one thing after another and most of it has been stressful.

I haven’t felt like blogging, reading, genealogy or anything. Today I had therapy and was discussing how I’m just not feeling it. My mind of course goes first to my anxiety meds, changed over a month ago, do they need to be adjusted?

We discussed all the things that have been happening, my switch to keto which is going fairly well. I mentioned Oak (service dog) had a vet check last week and his public access test yesterday. I went to my second graders class too to discuss Service dogs, the different jobs they do and what you can and should not ask/do.

When she asked me how I felt about all those positive things I had no answer… Fine I guess.

Then I told her about the upcoming MRI on Thursday, the annual check of lesions and atrophy of my brain. I love MRIs, I love looking at the disc of images, how else would you ever get to see your brain?!

With her help I discovered the anxiety that comes with this imaging. Being denied my medication for so long before finally starting a new med that I had a lot of side effects from. There is so much pending this test that consciously I wasn’t noticing.

Did the delay cause more lesions? Did the high dose biotin help reduce the atrophy? When in the previous year there was a huge percentage of atrophy compared to “normal” MS patients.

So while I’m not scared to get in the tube for 45 minutes and I enjoy having information, I am very worried about what the information will be.

 

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