When You’re Doing it Right and Someone Else is Stupid

As if a giant sign out of no where, when I was trying to find something lighthearted to blog about after my last one this thing happened.

The setup: my youngest son is in the second grade, there are only four handicap spots at his school. Since mid-way through first grade I have had him come to the car at the pickup loop so I don’t have to be there an hour early to get a spot. This means I rarely use a spot any more. I have posted numerous times on the parent Facebook group for the school about my service dog because I know the kids will tell the parents and the parents usually have questions, because I “look normal”.

Today, I had to park (an hour early) to go in an buy raffle tickets for a Halloween Bash they are doing at the school. I do not use a handicap placard because my disability will only get worse and there is no cure, therefore, my license plate sports the international symbol for disability, smack dab in the middle of the numbers. In addition to that, the back of my SUV has a sticker that says “Service Dog on Board”. I am the only parent at this particular school who uses a service dog on the property.

When I got back to my car, after most of the cars had left, there was a post it note on my driver side window; “Where is your Handicap Plackard??” Grammar and spelling aside, my brain might be shrinking but I am not that stupid yet, I was enraged. I immediately felt my blood pressure rise and had to take a beat.

I am the biggest fucking advocate for those of us with disabilities, I talk to the principals at both of my kids schools about needing more spaces for us. During events I ask about the possibility of blocking off some regular spots for more of us so we can all park. We are a weird little group, those of us who are disabled. I get seriously pissed off when people park in the disability spots without the appropriate tags, but I check the license plate first and placard second.

Is this person someone with a disability and just an ignorant asshat, or are they a normal person feeling the need to make them-self feel superior. Either way, they only succeeded at pissing me of, publicly shaming them on Facebook, and now here and now everyone knows they can’t spell and they don’t have all the information they need to actually make a difference.

Would this same person put this note on the car of one of the disabled veterans that park at this school? They don’t have the handy little wheelchair on a plate or a placard, they get the dignified DV on their plate. It commands respect and I would be livid if I witnessed this happen to them.

How dare you make me justify my disability in a public forum because you leave a cowardly note on my car. You have no clue what I go through everyday just to live, let alone participate with people socially or be there for my kids. I am bombarded with questions every single time I leave my house with my service dog. I expect it, I do not enjoy it, it adds stress and anxiety to my life but I answer the polite questions nicely, the not so polite ones get curt answers.

I have not had to justify my disability to anyone since I was in Europe last year at the Louvre when some lady (with a tour group) tried to tell me I could not use the elevator because it’s only for the disabled. “I AM disabled” I responded loud enough to get the point across.

So once again, I feel that my multiple sclerosis is not enough for the mass public. When my legs stop working and feel like jelly, when one leg doesn’t remember what to do and just kind of drags along. When I have pain in every nerve in my body because I over heated from outside temp or being surrounded by too many people.

You know what though, my MS is enough, my life is harder than any “normal” person can even comprehend. So to you, cowardly note leaver, fuck off. I did everything right and you are a bully.

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