Why Sexual Assault Scenes in Movies aren’t “iffy”

My 14 year old tried to convince me to let him watch some rated R movies I am not okay with. One of his reasonings was that yeah, there’s a rape scene that’s a little iffy.

My response, it’s only iffy if you haven’t been raped. His response, “I haven’t” (which is obviously great) however my response “I have”.

Which is also the reason I was pissed when I found out someone gave him a copy of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Their response was they didn’t remember anything bad in the movie.

Here’s the thing, normal people, probably don’t remember these types of scenes because it doesn’t cause a trauma response. However, I remember, vividly and usually stress the fuck out whenever watching anything remotely related. When my husband and I watched “The Vow” and “Seduced”, documentaries related to a cult where there was a lot of talk of assault and other types of non consensual acts it was very difficult for me. It brought previous trauma to the surface.

The same thing happens when there are shows or movies where there is going to be a huge car accident, though less often since I had RRT done specifically for car related trauma.

I care about what my kid sees, especially as his personality is still developing. I love him, I want him to grow up to be a good, strong man who understands respect for women and that there are some things that are more serious than others.

Am I wrong in restricting what my 14 year old views? We allow certain R rated movies if we’ve seen them or use IMDB and Common Sense Media to see if it’s appropriate.

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