My assignment from my therapist was to find joy every day, even if it’s small.

Normally I’d play video games but my reaction time is slow and a lot of the games stress me out. Plus I can’t sit in the same spot long.

Attempting knitting for mindfulness gave me tennis elbow because the tendon from my wrist to elbow did not enjoy that particular movement.

Joy is an odd thing. “Great pleasure” seems like a high bar when you can’t do much of anything because your body doesn’t cooperate.

Sometimes watching the dogs play brings me a little joy. When my boys get along and are playing or helping each other that brings me joy, it doesn’t happen too often because of the age difference.

Watching my husband interact with the kids, it brings me joy. When he hangs out with me and we have conversations or the same reactions to movies or whatever, that brings me joy. My youngest son’s Map turtles he got as an early birthday present bring me joy.

All of those things depend on other people or animals doing things though. How does one go about finding something that brings them joy without depending on something else to happen? I can’t take walks, I can’t do outdoor activities with my kids. I can even play Uno with them because I always get confused on which way we’re going.

This blog is more of an outlet than something that brings me joy. Do other people struggle with chronic pain and autoimmune diseases and are able to find something that bring them joy? Am I the odd one out that just doesn’t know how?

I get anxiety just trying to keep my physical therapy and doctor appointments straight in my calendar living a life where I haven’t even been sure what day or date it is for over a year. What do you do that brings you joy?