Quarantine, Keto and Self Esteem

It seems like years ago when I started keto for my brain health and ended up losing weight as a happy side effect. Turns out that it was a little over a year ago. It was 6 months of keto, minus December last year because Christmas and all the deliciousness that comes with it it so very hard for me to say no to.

Then March 15th everything went to shit. Remote learning started, social distancing started and I had to restrict my interactions with everyone which were already restricted because of my immune compromised status. Stress makes MS worse, in case you were unsure. Lack of the ability to nap on a regular schedule, also makes MS worse. So with the shelves at stores quickly becoming bare because of all the people purchasing for hoarding and the lack of timely shipments because of everything I temporarily gave up keto.

Summer rolled around and distancing was still happening so the usual friend hang outs were a no go, which only made everyone in the house more stir crazy. The trampoline gifted to us worked a bit, until it started to get cold or it was covered in leaves and snow. This disabled mother could not take the kids to parks, pools, hikes or anything else outside really because I had been diagnosed with skin cancer, the heat makes my MS turn my limbs to mush and these things are not really as fun if you are only doing it with a sibling that has a 6 year age difference.

So here we are, 9 months into quarantine, which feels like years, the only socializing the boys get are from online school, phone calls to friends and online gaming with other kids because it’s the safest thing for them, and me. Safe from a virus isn’t the same though, they are missing their friends, being outside, and so many other important things they are missing out on being stuck inside.

Then there’s my keto, I gave up when I couldn’t find most of the food I was eating when ordering groceries online because everyone else had and still is stocking up on all the things. I don’t blame them really, if I had a freezer chest I would buy a ton of frozen foods so I would not have to go to the store as often, but I don’t so we frequently don’t get our staples or meats or produce.

So during this lovely and fun pandemic I have been eating normal food, sooooo many carbs and then dealing with the stress of everyone locked up in the same house that also includes sweets. So I gained back 23.5 of the 33.5 pounds I had lost on keto. My self esteem took a HUGE blow when I realized I look pregnant again, though I am not. I had already taken all the t-shirts for when I weighed more and turned them into a blanket. So now, I am going back on keto, in December, in the middle of a pandemic, with limited groceries available which means mostly protein shakes and MCT oil with a dinner that it more balanced and no carbs. It is going to be rough, I am aware of that, it is going to super suck. Thankfully I have a really good friend I can report to daily on my choices to help hold me accountable. It’s made all the more difficult because of my disability I am unable to do more than short bursts of low key physical therapy so an actual workout is out of the question so my best and main option is food.