What Do We Want From the Next Generation?

Here’s the thing, people are divided. It seems that all the same issues that have been going on for the last 60 plus years are still happening. We need to decide as a community what we are expecting the next generation of adults to be.

One person alone cannot make the changes needed, but each person working together as a group can. Do we want our children to be name calling, angry grown-ups? I don’t, I tell my kids to treat people how they want to be treated. Yet, you watch the news and people are trash talking politicians, celebrities, and people in general are doing the same thing on social media.

How can we as the parents of the next group of grown-ups expect them to be better than we show them. I try to keep the news off around my kids, yes I want them to be informed but they do not need to be subjected to constant negativity. In fact, I don’t either, I have numerous health issues that make staying positive hard enough without surrounding myself with all the negative talk.

Each person has basic human rights, they should be free to make choices for their own bodies and love who they want as long as those things are not hurting anyone. Nearly 100 years after women got the right to vote and we are still struggling for equality. Almost 60 years after Civil Rights marches and laws we still do not treat people of different races the same as everyone else. People are the SAME!

We are all made of the same parts, we all want the same things in life. Regardless of beliefs, gender, color and orientation. That is what I want my sons to know. I want them to be adults who fight for everyone’s rights to be loved and respected. I want them to treat all people they interact with how they want to be treated. I want them to be kind, understanding and compassionate. I want my sons to be men that can be looked up to. Alone we cannot change things, but together, as parents of the next generation we can shape who they will become and hopefully society in the process.

 

Sensory Overload

Back in my teens and early twenties noise did not bother me. I used to listen to loud music, have the TV on in the background while I studied or wrote it was fine. Now, it makes me crazy and not in the sense that it is just annoying because I am old.

I am in my thirties, I am not sure if it’s related to my MS, Meniere’s or both as people afflicted with either complain of sensory issues. When I am trying to focus on one thing and there is noise or talking or a loud TV, music anything, I get actual nerve pain. This week I was helping my youngest son with his reading homework, he was reading aloud to me as I listened; my oldest son was talking to my husband who then came out and started asking questions. I lost my shit a little, I didn’t realize I was yelling in response until my husband said something, all I knew was that I was trying to focus my attention on one thing and then I was overwhelmed with sound.

For people who don’t have this issue think nails grating on a chalkboard (though that sound doesn’t bother me, probably from nerve damage in my ears), in addition to the feeling of that sound think of something that gives you uncontrollable shivers down your spine and go ahead and throw in some heart racing chest pain inducing feeling. I can’t speak for all people with sensory issues, but that is what it feels like to me. It’s terrible, when it’s happening I just want it to stop, but you cannot control the sound of everything around you if there are other people involved.

My therapist is always telling me to take deep breaths, mostly when stress hits me or my PTSD kicks up. It is a hard thing to remember to do, especially when panic sets in because your body has decided to revolt its surroundings. This thing happens to me way more than I would like, well actually I would like it to never happen so I guess that I would like to be able to control when. If I go out to dinner with my husband, the sound can become too much, out with the kids, or play dates, social events. The problem is that it is not consistent, it’s not every single time there is sound or only when I am doing a certain thing.

If you know someone with sensory issues, take a beat, they may be snappy because their body just attacked them and they can’t handle anything else at the moment. Ask before touching, because I have even had to explain to my kids that “light” touches are actually painful to me as it sets my nerves on fire.

The Road to Deciding to Get a Service Dog for My Multiple Sclerosis

Let me start by saying, as of the writing of this blog, I am not receiving any sort of compensation for my opinions so when you hear me talk about Freedom Service Dogs, it is because they are near and dear to my heart and I believe in what they do.

If this is the first post of mine you are reading, then hi and welcome. I have Multiple Sclerosis, it sucks, it sucks pretty hard some days to the extent that I would love it if it was a person I could kick in the teeth. My story of how I came to the decision to apply for a service dog was a very difficult one and I do not enjoy sharing it so hang in there.

Winter of 2015, one year after my official diagnosis, and a few months after I was violently rear-ended in a car accident that resulted in torn hip cartilage that required the use of a walker my husband and I took our kids to the local indoor mall to see Santa. As you can imagine, the mall was filled wall to wall with an insane amount of people and we were trying to leave through the crowd, I encouraged my husband to take the boys ahead of me because I was slow and he hates crowds as much as I do.

As I slowly made my way through the crowd I was shoved aside by two teenage girls trying to get through, mumble to myself something about hating crowds and teenagers are assholes. Fine, moving on, me with my bright blue walker with wheels, just trying to leave the mall. Grown ass man shoves me to the left trying to get through, first of all WTF, second of all, if I was an old lady would they be shoving me? I have never in my life felt so vulnerable than at this very moment, broken, small and in a crowd of people who didn’t give a shit about where I was in their space. At this point I am holding back the tears that are trying to well up in my eyes because I am not weak and I will not let these people break me, there’s a reason I don’t work in retail anymore. Barely holding my shit together but getting closer to being out of this disaster of an outing another set of teenage girls pushed me aside to get by.

Once I left the mall doors and was on my way to the car I started to cry (I could barely walk, I was using something meant for old ladies, I was only a year into a diagnosis that would eventually take everything from me and I just experienced the worst of humanity during the holiday season). This just would not work for me. I started to research after that, what it would take to get a service dog for my MS by the time I needed one. I also set my walker up with flashing bike lights, a warning horn and a cup holder because you had better believe I am not getting shoved around again.

In my research I found that most options for service dogs are buying a Lab type puppy specifically bred for the job and then paying $40,000 for training. Well, I don’t know about you, but I don’t have that kind of cash laying around to pay for a service dog, especially when meds for treatment for MS is already very expensive. Then I happened upon Freedom Service Dogs, I vaguely remembered them speaking at one of my DAR meetings when I first joined but at that time I was not yet diagnosed.

Freedom Service Dogs is a non-profit organization that provides fully, custom trained service dogs to people who need them. This includes mobility, veterans, PTSD, they have also partnered with Disco Dogs to provide service dogs to people with Autism at no charge to the client. They provide you with training with your dog and constant support should you want it. They will also help train your dog for things like if you have MS and go from needing Brace and Balance assistance to being in a wheelchair and needing your dog to support you with that.

Want to know more about my journey to getting my service dog? I will post another blog about the next steps next week.